I thought he had already taken this heart
by Twilight Always
Summary: Hermiones thoughts and point of view after Ron starts to date Lavender. 'I wish I wasn't in love...with her boyfriend...with my best friend...I wish I wasn't in love at all' please Read and Review: ONE SHOT. thanks . C.D.J.B .
1. Chapter 1

**I Thought He Had Already Taken My Heart**

_Twilight Always_

**C.D.J.B**

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**Don't know what to do anymore**  
**I've lost the only love worth fighting for**

_I've lost something so significant, so great, before it had even started. Who loses something before they even had it? Oh, yes. Many people do. I don't know what's worse, that he is _hers, _or the knowledge that he could've been mine. Maybe it was a bit of both..._

**I'll drown in my tears**  
**don't they see?**  
**That which show you, that which make you hurt like me**

_Ron and I had been playing this game with each other forever it seems. The interest in others, the jealousy, the wishes. The looks we sent each other. We were the two best friends people always thought would end up together. People saw the way I looked at Ron. The way Ron looked at me. But it was gone, turned to dust faster than anything. So quick, so fast. _

**All the same**  
**I don't want mudslinging games**  
**It's such a shame**  
**To let you walk away**

_We hadn't been fragile, me and Ron. Well, maybe because we hadn't ever really been anything. But the knowledge of what we could have been, that had been strong. That wasn't fragile. Yes, we had fights; we refused to acknowledge each others, or our own, feelings. We had been rocks, and now what? It was crushed? And for what...? _

_I should have said something; I should have been straight with Ron all along. I guess I thought he would always just be there for me, waiting in a way...like I'd be for him. _

_And now what? Were we dust? Finished? Gone before anything started?_

**Is there a chance?**  
**A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?**  
**A reason to fight?**  
**Is there a chance you may change your mind?**  
**Or are we ashes and wine?**

_She doesn't know Ron, she knows nothing about him. She's a girl with a crush, whose boy dream came true. She made her move; she took her chance, the moment I lost mine._

_He was never mine too loose. But he should have been. I wish he was. And he really, doesn't even know._

**Don't know if our fate's already sealed**  
**This day's spinning surface on a wheel**  
**I'm ill with the thought of your kiss**  
**Coffee laced intoxicating on her lips**

_The mere thought of Lavender Brown all over Ronald was vile, and repulsive. Her fingers, laced with him. Her ill lips on his. She doesn't know Ronald. She doesn't know that he is madly afraid of spiders, she doesn't know that he can sometimes be clumsy, that he says the wrong things at the most inappropriate times, she doesn't know that he is courageous, that he is the best friend any one could have. She doesn't know that he has a temper of a red head, or that he would do anything for a friend, and that he is one of the bravest boys, no people, alive. She doesn't know that his eyes could lighten up a city or that his voice is soothing, or that personally, I think he enjoys arguing. _

_She doesn't know that when he really cares about you, he stands by you through everything. No matter what. _

_She doesn't know him. She sees what she wants to see. But she doesn't know him, like I know him. She doesn't know that I am in love with her boyfriend. She doesn't know that I am in love with my best friend. _

**Cut it out**  
**I've got no claim on you now**  
**Not allowed to wear your freedom down**

_I don't want to be like this, a young girl in love with her best friend. Let alone a girl who's in love with a boy who has a girlfriend. I wish that I could find the words to say, but there never will be. Nor will there be the time, because I have no claim on him, especially not now. He isn't mine, he wasn't mine. He was a dream. A dream someone else already achieved. _

**Is there a chance?**  
**A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?**  
**A reason to fight?**  
**Is there a chance you may change your mind?**  
**Or are we ashes and wine?**

_I can read his mind now, he looks lonely even though his with her. That sparkle isn't in his eyes, and I wish I could talk to him, but it makes me ill. I don't want to look at him; I don't want to talk to him. All the fights, all the nights, all the talks. All these years. We almost made it, but never got it._

**I'll tear myself away**  
**That is what you need**  
**There is nothing left to say**  
**But**

_I know, that he is wi__th her...maybe it's best...after all...he wasn't ever mine...maybe Ron was only ever supposed to be my friend. _

_...no, that sounds wrong. It makes me ill in my stomach. You don't feel this for your best friend, and if he is only ever supposed to be my best friend, then the world is truly a sick place, more so then I thought. Cause the pain I feel...you don't feel that pain watching your 'best friend' kissing his girlfriend. You're supposed to be happy for them. And instead, I want to be sick. I want to stand up; I want to scream at him 'what are you thinking! This can't be what you really want, Ron!' but I stay glued to the chair. My pride won't let me._

**Is there a chance?**  
**A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?**  
**A reason to fight?**  
**Is there a chance you may change your mind?**  
**Or are we ashes and wine?**  
**The day's still ashes and wine**  
**or are we ashes**

_I'd always fight for Ronald...but I'm tired, and my heart hurts, like it's shattered. _

_I wish my heart was made of Iron. _

_I wish I didn't love him like I did. I wish the thought of her and him didn't make me want to run, i wish that he was my best friend, and just my friend. I wish we hadn't of stayed frozen in time for so long, I wish we never got to this place, _

_I wish he was mine. _

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Heey sorry it took so long to upload a new story .

I've got alot more ideas, and alot coming so please watch out for new stuff from me, and PLEASE review:) It's really appriciated when people do, after they read my stories. & if you have any suggestions on a couple you want me to write about , tell me and I'll be happy to try and do it: )

thanks for reading,

Twlight always

C.D.J.B


	2. Chapter 2

Heey guys, sorry I forgot to mention the song name if anyone's interested,

It's A Fine Frenzy – Ashes and Wine.

Don't forget to review my story


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